I want a microwave for offices that detects when someone is attempting to make popcorn and then forcefully opens the door and ejects it onto the floor.

Just as one should not take a dump in the hallways at the office, one should never make popcorn. I believe my popcorn-ejecting microwave should be an OSHA requirement in all offices.

Why else do we have all this AI and such? We need to direct it to the truly important problems.