I got a scam phone call on Friday. Apparently, they needed to talk to me about something very important and that it was imperative that I resolve it before it goes to “federal courts.” I was in a good mood so I decided to have a little fun.

First, I asked which jurisdiction and the name of the US Attorney bringing charges, and why was I not served a subpoena by federal marshals, as is required in such cases?

No answer to that one. They just repeated what they said before and then added that I should pay them $1,000 to “avoid immediate federal charges.”

I said, “I will definitely pay the $1,000. I am so scared. But under one condition.”

Scammer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That you come here and hold me. Hold me tight and call me ‘moopsy.’ It’s the only thing that helps.”

A brief pause and then the scammer hung up. Fun stuff.