“Mental load” is 90% neurotic bullshit and 10% real.
That said, yes to the comment I screenshotted. In a past relationship I took care of all car maintenance, yard maintenance, most household stuff (even though I am terrible at it), etc. But I was told none of that counted as a contribution because I “enjoyed doing that stuff” and “all men find that fun” even after I was very clear and very vociferous as to the fact that I did not in fact find any of that enjoyable, but was just doing it out of necessity.
It was merely a way for her to still have me do 50% of the other housework, too. In reality, I did something like 80% of the actual household work, while she thought she was doing most of it — because to her my contributions didn’t count because they were “fun.” This is incredibly common with women, from what I hear and have experienced (luckily not at all with my current partner). And after the woman I am talking about found out I didn’t mind washing dishes, those also didn’t count toward my contribution because I found them “fun” (in her mind).
So this is how you get to bogus numbers about men not doing their fair share. The vast majority are. Our labor is just not counted.
