017: MASCULINITY!

– men are scared of men, just as women are
– people are quick to say "daddy issues" but where *was* daddy?
– how I navigate "men are trash"
– elite commandos behave in a much more nourishing and supportive way than wannabe tough guys dohttps://t.co/qnkFxUi3vF

— Visa ✈️ NYC! 🗽 (Apr23-May12) (@visakanv) February 13, 2020

That last point is true. I wasn’t in a unit of elite commandoes but rather of paratroopers and while there was a lot of masculinity there, it mattered a lot less. I mean that there were far fewer displays of overt and insecure masculinity than anywhere else I’ve ever been.

Why? We didn’t have anything to prove. We were in a combat unit, had jumped out of planes together, done difficult missions without complaining. We knew were were tough. Hell, we knew the women in the unit were tough, too. What’s left to show anyone? We’d moved past all that. The only men who go around posturing and posting up aggressively are those who are very insecure and haven’t usually achieved anything of note.

I was friends with a few actual elite commandos when I was in the army (Special Forces, Delta Force) and those guys were the most laid back, calm, and the least interested in masculine posturing of any men I’ve ever been around — far less than even the fellow paratroopers I spent most my time around. I almost wanted to change my MOS (job) so I’d have a chance at even joining a unit like that because of how un-masculine (compared to normal male spaces) that sort of unit tends to be.

Most male spaces where the males haven’t achieved much are the most toxic of all.