I stand by this! But I also think 'deciding that the pain was worth it' is a pretty hard and long journey, and it's maybe phrased better as a 'integrating the pain to the point where it becomes a dearly loved experience' rather than 'deciding it was worth it.' https://t.co/c44XgcsiLb

— Aella (@Aella_Girl) April 6, 2021

I don’t think the pain I lived through was worth it so when people say things like, “I wish my life could be like yours!” or “I wish I could do the things you do!” I usually just smile and say nothing. But what I am thinking is, You would have had to walk the path I walked to be where I am, and you really don’t want that, so be happy how you are, because how I am is a result of things people shouldn’t have to go through.

I repurposed my suffering to metamorphose myself into a knife to slice reality into the shapes I wished it to be, but I was lucky and just happened to be resilient enough. Many weren’t, where I grew up, and they are now all gone, in the grave.