This is why I always denigrate the Fat Acceptance movement.

That is some deeply whacky bullshit. And almost certainly not a troll.
The Aquatic Ape theory is my favorite absolutely wrong theory. However, even if true, we wouldโve evolved our aqua-simian (kind of like Aqua Man, but apier) features where temperatures are warm so our blubber requirements would be minimal.
And gah, the stupid, the stupid, it burns.