Dissuasion and the patriarchy

Whatโ€™s strange about the โ€œI have a boyfriendโ€ thing that many women do โ€“ and yes, yes, I understand why they do it โ€” is that it is not very effective against the very guys they are attempting to target with it.

Sure, itโ€™s effective against some guys, most of whom would be fine with a simple โ€œIโ€™m just interested in being friends,โ€ but against the guys who donโ€™t take no for an answer, itโ€™s probably actually an incitement and not any form of dissuasion at all.

Iโ€™m not a woman and I donโ€™t intend to tell anyone how to behave (as obviously many women believe their strategy to be effective), but I am a guy and Iโ€™ve known (many, many) misogynist creepy guys, and I can tell you from experience with them that โ€œI have a boyfriendโ€ means absolutely nothing to them. Nothing at all.

I think it is just one of those things that humans do that is self-effective rather than being that effective in the world (like taking antibiotics for viral infections). It doesnโ€™t help, but it feels like it helps, and that is enough.

Lately (and it doesnโ€™t happen as often as it used to) when a woman says that to me, I just as quickly say, โ€œCool! I do too!โ€

It just confuses the hell out of them which is fine with me. Historically, most girls who think I am flirting with them I want absolutely nothing to do withโ€ฆ.