According to stunned and delusional Dems, Hillary lost because:
- Bernie Bros
- KGB
- Krampus
- Space Aliens
- Tony Danza
- Voter Suppression (only somewhat plausible one on the list*)
- FBI coup
- Evil liberals who had the temerity to utter any word of criticism
- Dumbledore
Here’s why actually Hillary lost: she was a reviled and terrible candidate whose strength was in the South where she had little to no chance of winning anyway. I said that before the election. So did many others. Voters stayed away in droves because she was about as inspiring as a three-day-old Taco Bell chalupa that a swarm of roaches has gnawed on.
Bernie would have won in a landslide. Likely Elizabeth Warren, too. Hell, a toaster would’ve been more likely to win it than she was.
Nominate someone who is unelectable, who is already the most-disliked candidate in history before she even begins campaigning, and you end up a loser. Simple as that.
*Though once you realize the truth of Tony Danza, why vote? Why do anything?
Ooooooo I _hate_ that Tony Danza! (scowls while shaking fist).
Yes, the mere presence of Tony Danza on our planet causes voting machines to flip votes, tornadoes to form, and radio stations to play Celine Dion marathons.
He must be stopped.
I’m working on a time machine so that we keep his parents from ever meeting! It will mean changing much of our history (esp Taxi!) but all things considered, it’s probably for the best.